It happens to the best of us. You get home, finally free, and you smoke a huge bowl. Life is good, you feel mellow, the music is going straight to your heart, and then someone calls or knocks at your door. You suddenly have company and it’s someone you don’t want to know that you just smoked. Maybe it is your mom, maybe your landlord, maybe you ran into your manager while you were out on a munchies hunt. Whatever the situation, you need to get your game face on. You need to be able to look completely normal in the interaction but that never seems easy. Here are some tips on getting through this very difficult time.
Step 1: Shut up
We cannot empathize this enough. The number one rule of not appearing stoned is to just shut up. If you talk you are going to say some weird stuff which will seem completely normal to you. You would think you’re making good jokes or acting normally but you will not be. So just stay quiet. The key is to just answer the questions that are asked of you and nothing else. This is a great strategy; it makes the other person feel that you are engaged in the conversation but none of your weird thoughts are creeping into the conversation. Another problem is that your way of talking changes when you have smoked up. The other person will immediately catch on that something isn’t normal. You will then start getting paranoid. You don’t want to get into the downward spiral, trust us.
Step 2: Have some eye drops on you
Eye drops are your best friends at times like these. They make your eyes look white but more importantly they make you look fresh and alert. Do note that continued use of eye drops isn’t good for your eyes. Just keep a bottle on you for emergency purposes. Keep one in your car and one in your room. You will look perfectly normal (you may look a bit too alert and fresh) and you will also feel fresh. The eye drops really harsh the mellow but in this case it is a good thing.
Step 3: Eat something
If it is just a small conversation then the above two steps will be more than enough. If someone is at your house and they are going to be there for a while then the best way to reach normalcy is to eat something. Eating something reduces the power of other things in your system. Grab a snack or pour some cereal. Though, make sure you eat normally. If you casually just pour a bowl of cereal and it is a weird time for cereal then you’ll just raise suspicion. Though, why is cereal a morning thing man? We love cereal, we should be able to eat it at any time we want.
We wish you the best of luck soldier, remember, this is a stealth mission.